#BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SAY GOODBYE TO THE PONDS ;_;

[whogirl42]

So I like... I really don't know how I feel about the whole bi-regeneration thing.

Something that sours it for me is like... I was so upset that we were only gonna get the 3 eps with 14 and Donna - ideally for me we would have had a whole season or even a half-season to do them justice. It made me sad that I'd have to say goodbye to them so soon. Tho I did take comfort in that there'd basically be an open invitation for Donna cameos in the future, in a similar way to the Kate Stewart and Unit ones.

HOWEVER. Now??? As much as I fucking adore Donna and David Tennant as the Doctor... I kinda never wanna see them on screen again??? Cause I feel like it sorta cheapens the concept of the 15th Doctor and all the other future adventures he'll have. It was one thing with Tentoo cause he was banished to another universe and was limited to a mortal's lifespan. But having two fully fledged Doctors??? Both with Tardises??? In the same universe???

It doesn't just cheapen the 15 Doctor and all future Doctors, imo it also cheapens David Tennant himself. Because there's a bittersweet beauty in letting go. In saying goodbye. Of accepting the next phase in life. The bi-regeneration doesn't do that. There's no closure. There's no faint loss accompanying the joyous rebirth. It's just.

It just feels very emotionally hollow.

[yuujispinkhair]

Cowboy Sukuna (Part 1)

Sukuna became a cowboy so he wouldn't have to let anyone tell him what to do. And because he wanted to put some distance between himself and his little brother so Sukuna wouldn't drag him into his mess. Sukuna is made for the lonesome cowboy life. He doesn't need anyone by his side. He isn't looking for love. At least that's what he thinks until he meets you, a pretty girl in a flowery dress and cowboy boots who somehow knows how to tear Sukuna's walls down.

Cowboy!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: Cowboy AU, fluff + smut Word Count: 7.5k Playlist: Cowboy Sukuna Warnings: 18+, smut, cigarettes, alcohol, fistfights, blood. Minors don't interact. This story is inspired by @sweetlandspos fanart of Cowboy Sukuna (also this is the selfie he sends Reader). I saw him and fell in love, and I just HAD to write a story about this sexy cowboy. Divider @/benkeibear. The art in the header was used with permission from @/sweetlandspos

Sukuna grew up thinking he belonged nowhere. He can't even remember his dad and his mama didn't want him either. He was raised by his grandpa, but Sukuna was a wild one, a rebel and troublemaker, famous in his small town but for all the wrong reasons. He got all those tattoos when he was far too young, got into all those fistfights, broke all those hearts, and even got into trouble with the cops once. His gramps told Sukuna he was a bad influence on his little brother, so when Sukuna was old enough, he left it all behind and bought this old ranch in the middle of nowhere.

He renovated the old farmhouse all by himself and built his own life out here. A life he could be proud of. It's a lonely life. No wife, no kids, not even a girlfriend. Just Sukuna and his dog and horse and the cows. And lots of hard work. But it's what Sukuna tells himself he wants. The bad boy cowboy never even considered getting married. He doesn't think he is made for love. He isn't even sure he deserves it or is capable of it. Sukuna enjoys life out here in the middle of nowhere and tells himself he doesn't need anyone by his side, anyway.

If he wants to fuck, he can drive to town and flirt his way into some pretty girl's bed. It's never anything serious. Just a few hours of fun and then Sukuna is gone again. No goodbye kiss, no exchange of phone numbers. The only thing he leaves behind are some muddy bootprints on her front porch, and some cigarette ash flicked out of his car window.

Sukuna doesn't expect to ever find love or even want to find it. And he certainly doesn't think that he will meet his future wife on a random Tuesday morning in the shabby old hardware store he has been frequenting for years.

He got into his pickup truck at sunrise, driving several hours to the small town to buy some things in the hardware store, and that's where he runs into you, a sweet little thing in a flowery dress and pretty cowboy boots, wringing your hands nervously when Sukuna has some questions regarding the pond supplies he wants to buy.

He grins at you, taking his cowboy hat off and nodding at you respectfully, all polite because contrary to what he looks like with all his tattoos and the intimidating height and muscular build, he can be a gentleman if he wants to, and you seem like such a sweetheart, Sukuna thinks you deserve his best charming self.

You tell him it's your first day working here and you have to check with your boss. You apologize profusely to Sukuna, and he can't stop the smirk from spreading over his tattooed face because you are so damn cute.

He tells you, "It's okay, ma'am, I have time.", and watches you get all flustered before you hurry to the back of the store.

You return a few minutes later with a warm smile on your face and answer Sukuna's questions, showing him around and also helping him pick some other things he says he needs (which he doesn't, but he likes the way you smile at him and the way your sweet flowery perfume fills his nose anytime you move).

You even insist on helping him load the items into his pickup truck,

"See it as compensation for my earlier lack of fishing pond knowledge."

And Sukuna laughs and thanks you,

"There is nothing you have to compensate for. I am very pleased with your service."

He eyes the nameplate attached to your dress and addresses you by your name, letting it roll off his tongue in his low, velvety voice that he knows girls find sexy. Sukuna can see that you are affected by his charm, and he grins broadly at you when he tips his cowboy hat in a farewell. And you smile so sweetly at him, and Sukuna is pretty sure you really mean it when you tell him to come back again soon.

Sukuna is back in town only a week later, picking up a new saddle he ordered at the local saddler, but he drives past the hardware store on his way back, and something makes him slow down, makes him take one last deep drag from his cigarette and then flick the cigarette butt out the open window before Sukuna pulls into the small parking lot.

Sukuna tells himself it's a good idea to have a little look around when he already made the long drive into town anyway. He could use a new toolbox. The old one is still functioning, but this new one comes with a sweet girl in a cute little skirt and those shiny cowboy boots. Sukuna spends thirty minutes in the little shop until he finally sees you coming out from the back.

Your gaze meets his, and he sees the way your eyes widen just as Sukuna grins at you, tipping his cowboy hat in greeting and casually strolling over to you.

You smile brightly at him, remembering him (Of course you do. Sukuna knows he always leaves an impression), greeting him by his name, and asking him how you can be of help.

Sukuna cocks his head, a lazy smirk spreading over his handsome, tattooed face, letting his gaze travel over your pretty face and cute curves, thinking that he definitely knows some things you could help him with. He is pretty sure he could have you in his truck in no time at all, his calloused hands slipping under your cute little skirt while your pretty mouth moans his name. But something makes him hold back.

It's untypical for Sukuna. He drove all the way to town and will only be here for a few hours. Usually, he makes good use of that time to get his fill of some sweet pussy wrapped around his cock to keep him satisfied for the long lonely nights to come once he is back home again, riding over the plains, herding his cows.

But Sukuna looks at your sweet smile and your genuine kindness, and it doesn't feel right to only fuck you and then leave again to never see you again.

And so Sukuna doesn't try to get under your skirt but instead leans down to grin at you and ask you to help him pick a nice new toolbox.

He walks out of the store an hour later, not just with a new toolbox but also a new BBQ grill, some lawn chairs, and a saddle bag he could have gotten in much better quality at the saddler he just came from. But it's okay because it meant that he could spend a whole hour with you in the shitty little hardware store, letting you show him around, talking to him in your sweet voice with the thick accent, while Sukuna watched your little skirt sway around your knees.

You accompany him to his truck again, and Sukuna smirks at you like the devil that he is, asking in a teasing voice,

"Is this some new service your store offers? Helping every customer load their stuff into their cars? Or is this a special service just for me?"

His smirk grows bigger when he sees how flustered you get once again, and he adds,

"No need to get all shy on me, sweetheart. I like being your favorite customer."

You giggle nervously but smile that bright smile at him again and quickly ask him where he lives and what he's doing for a living. And Sukuna laughs and points at his cowboy hat,

"This is what I'm doing. The hat isn't just a sexy accessory."

"Oh? So you're really a cowboy?"

"Yeah, as real as you can meet one. I have my own ranch a few hours from here. Just me and my animals."

You smile at him, getting a slightly dreamy look in your eyes, telling him,

"That sounds nice."

Sukuna doesn't know why his chest feels so fluttery and warm the whole drive home. He even catches himself humming along softly to one of those stupid, catchy lovesongs playing on the country station on his shitty old car radio.

Cowboy Sukuna doesn't know what it is, but lately, he keeps coming to town more often than usual. It's Friday night, and he's sitting in the small bar with the roses on the wooden sign above the old-fashioned saloon doors.

Sukuna is drinking whiskey with some rancher who wants to buy several cows from him, when Sukuna suddenly sees you. All pretty and sexy without knowing it, in your blue jeans and the cropped blouse, laughing unrestrainedly with your girls after a long work day.

Sukuna can't take his eyes off you. He watches you over the rim of his whiskey glass, feeling that strange warmth in his chest again. He's about to put his glass down and walk over to you when he sees a guy bump into you.

The asshole is acting as if it was by accident, but he is far too handsy for Sukuna's taste. Standing much too close to you, his shoulders brushing against yours, his mouth at your ear, saying something to you.

Sukuna grits his teeth.

You smile politely at the guy, laughing awkwardly, not at all like when you laugh with Sukuna. You are uncomfortable. That much is clear to see, but Sukuna can tell you are a good girl who was taught to always be nice and polite, even to that guy with the grabby hands. That pathetic worm puts a hand on your hip, and Sukuna sees red.

He slams his whiskey glass down on the table and crosses the small bar in a few large steps, grabbing that handsy guy and pulling him off you with an angry growl. Sukuna slams him into the wall, glaring at him, his voice low and dangerous,

"Get your dirty hands off her, or I'll fucking kill you!"

Your wide, surprised eyes stare at Sukuna, and that nameless guy screams and tries to punch him, but Sukuna just laughs about the pathetic attempt and drags him further away from you, grabbing him by the collar as Sukuna's right fist connects with the asshole's face.

Sukuna has always been good at fistfights. He is a rough guy, a dirty fighter, sadistic when someone pisses him off. He tried to stay out of trouble those last few years, but tonight, he is not restraining his anger, not when it comes to protecting you.

He smirks devilishly at the guy when that asshole manages to land a hit on Sukuna's face. It just manages to rile Sukuna up even more. He laughs and taunts that loser for hitting like a little boy before Sukuna attacks again and sends the guy tumbling to the floor with the next hard punch.

It's then that your small, soft hands wrap around Sukuna's tattooed biceps, and your sweet voice says his name with so much worry that it makes Sukuna stop going after that guy on the floor. He just jerks his head at the guy, telling him to get lost,

"If you know what's good for you, you better stay a mile away from that sweet lady in the future. Now apologize to her."

And the guy scrambles to his feet, mumbling a sorry before he flees from the bar and from Sukuna.

Sukuna slowly turns around, running a tattooed hand through his pink hair. He wipes his split lip on his sleeve, gives you a lopsided grin, and asks if you are okay.

And you stare at him with big, worried eyes, taking in the blood on his tattooed face, but a small smile plays around your lips as you tell Sukuna,

"Thank you for getting him away from me. I am fine... but what about you? Your lip... let me fix that, please."

You take Sukuna's large hand in your smaller one, tugging gently on it, and Sukuna follows you out of the bar.

You lead him down the road to your small house, inviting him in, not to have sex with him, but to patch him up, and somehow it feels a lot more intimate than all the times combined that Sukuna went home with another girl.

You are so sweet to him, scolding him for getting into a fight and getting himself hurt, but your fingers are so gentle when you wipe the blood off Sukuna's face and put a band-aid on his split lip. You smile softly as you trace the tattoos on Sukuna's jaw with your fingers and whisper a thank you to him.

"Thank you for protecting me from that guy and teaching him a lesson. You're a good guy."

And Sukuna laughs roughly, grinning at you and shaking his head,

"That's a first. Usually, I get called the opposite."

And you laugh with him, your soft fingers still cupping his chin and touching his tattoos oh so gently, insisting that even though he looks like a bad boy, Sukuna seems really nice.

Sukuna is so close to just pulling you on his lap and kissing you, but he refrains from doing it. Because he knows where it would lead, and for once in his life, Sukuna doesn't want a one-night stand. He doesn't want to fuck you and then drive back to his life out on the ranch to never see you again.

He doesn't want that with you. He wants to see you again, and he wants to take things slow. He wants to court you in an old-fashioned way.

Sukuna eats the homemade pie you bring him and drinks the coffee you insist he should drink before he drives back home. He thanks you politely for playing nurse for him and for feeding him, looking at you with the most charming smile he can give you with his split lip. And you tell him he is welcome and that he knows now where to find you if he ever needs someone to patch him up again.

Sukuna returns a week later to the hardware store, not because he needs to buy anything, but for you. He sees you smile when you spot him leaning casually against a wooden fence display, twirling his cowboy hat in his fingers and smirking that lazy grin at you.

You only have eyes for him, forgetting what you want to say to the customers you are serving. Looking at them in confusion and stuttering an excuse before your gaze wanders back to Sukuna. And Sukuna's smirk grows bigger.

He didn't even dress nice. He is just wearing his typical black jeans and cowboy boots, and one of the flannel shirts he always wears on the ranch. But he knows he looks good anyway. Sukuna knows the ladies love his handsome face and his tall and strong body with all those well-defined muscles from all the hard work. And his pink hair and tattoos are very popular with the country girls, too. They all get weak in the knees for a bad boy like Sukuna.

But somehow, he doesn't want to be a bad boy when it comes to you. A strange warmth spreads through Sukuna's chest when you leave the other customers standing and come over to him with that big smile on your pretty face, greeting him and telling him that it's nice to see him again.

No, Sukuna doesn't want to be an asshole or a bad boy when it comes to you. He wants to be a good man for you. He is polite to you, sweet, and respectful. A true cowboy and gentleman.

He grins his boyish grin at you, cocking his head and drawls,

"I thought I should stop by to check on you. Make sure there aren't any weird guys I have to fistfight for you."

Sukuna flirts with you and makes you laugh and giggle until your boss gives you side eyes and informs you that you shouldn't pester customers. But Sukuna turns to the man, towering over him,

"She is just helping me decide which products to buy. You shouldn't berate her but rather give her a raise. This sweet lady is the best thing about this shitty store. The only reason I keep coming back."

You burst out laughing the moment your boss has left and Sukuna thinks his stomach has never felt so fluttery. He asks you when your shift is over and if he can take you out for dinner. He is delighted when you say yes.

Sukuna waits until your shift is over and then leads you to his old pickup truck, holding open the door for you, giving you a hand, and helping you climb into it. His hand rests a bit longer than necessary on the small of your back, but you don't seem to mind.

He takes you to a cozy little restaurant that he has been to several times before. Always alone because Sukuna never went on dates in the past. But the elderly lady who owns the restaurant always tells Sukuna that she knows the type of cowboy Sukuna is from the time when she was still a young girl.

"Oh, I have had several boys like you in my life. Y'all are such handsome devils, but always breaking hearts everywhere you go because you are always running from something, and you don't even know from what. I wish for you to find the right girl one day. And if you do, bring her here."

And now Sukuna is here with you, walking into the restaurant with his arm wrapped lightly around you, catching the knowing gaze of the old lady behind the counter. She leads the two of you to a table on the patio, all romantic with wildflowers in a mason jar and fairy lights overhead.

Sukuna has never been on a real date, but he likes this. He likes to be here with you, chat with you, laugh with you, and hold your hand on the table, watching his long tattooed fingers interlace with your smaller ones, which feel so soft.

The hours slip by without either of you noticing how late it is.

When it is time to bring you home, Sukuna drives you to your house, parks the truck in front of it, and turns to you to say the typical flirty stuff that he usually says to girls, but he stops when he sees your smile, and somehow anything he usually says seems so hollow and fake, and it wouldn't be right to say it to you.

Sukuna closes his mouth again, gulping hard, the bad boy cowboy at a loss for words for the first time in his life.

This feeling is new to Sukuna. All of this is new to him. This warmth in his chest and the fluttery feeling in his stomach. And how he is so damn scared to fuck things up and lose you before you even are his.

How can Sukuna even say anything at all to you when everything he wants to tell you is so fucking raw and loaded with feelings he has never felt before? When it all makes him feel so fucking vulnerable?

Like the fact that Sukuna really enjoys spending time with you and that he wants to see you again. Or that he is pretty sure he gets butterflies when hearing your laugh. Or that he never believed in love, but he thinks he is starting to do it now.

He can't say those things, can he?

In the end, it doesn't need any words from him. You smile at him and thank him for the lovely evening, adding a bit shyly that you aren't used to going on dates, and then stutter because you realize what you said and you are worried that it wasn't really a date and you made a fool of yourself by assuming it was one.

And Sukuna can't help but grin and then do the one thing that will shut you up and hopefully ease your worries:

He kisses you right there in his truck. Cups your chin with his calloused hand and brushes his lips softly over yours. Careful, gentle. Something Sukuna usually isn't, but you bring out some part of him that was dormant until now.

Sukuna wants this kiss to be special. He wants to be gentle with you because you are gentle with him, too. You are sweet and kind. You treat him as if he is deserving of tenderness.

You make a cute, surprised sound, but don't pull away. Instead, your hand lands on Sukuna's neck, caressing the short stubble of his undercut, pulling him closer as your lips begin to move against his, too, and Sukuna can't help but smile into the sweetest kiss he ever had.

When the two of you pull apart again, Sukuna smiles at you, a genuine, soft smile, and tells you,

"It was absolutely a date. And I had a lovely evening, too, princess. Let me take you out to dinner again soon."

Sukuna watches you get out of his truck and walk to your front door. He lifts a hand to give you a little wave when you turn around in the open doorway to smile at him once again, whisper-shouting to him that you wish him a safe drive home.

Sukuna stays in his truck outside your house until the light in your living room goes on, and he knows you are safe and sound before he finally pulls out of your driveway and makes his long way home, his thoughts filled with your smile and the taste of your sweet lips and tongue in his mouth.

Sukuna stays true to the promise he made to himself and really takes things slow with you. He has to work anyway, look after his ranch, fix some fences, and ride across the plains, where he meets no other human being for several days. But you are on his mind the whole time.

He sends you pictures from his rides when he is lucky and gets a signal. Selfies of him on horseback, grinning at you with a cigarette dangling from the corner of his lips. And some pics of some of his cows, smiling when you ask for their names.

"They don't have names. I just numbered them. But you can give them names if you like, sweetheart."

And you do. You send Sukuna the stupidest names you can think of, and he can't stop grinning,

"I sure hope you won't be in charge of naming any kids."

"Well, I will let their daddy help choose the names if he has such a problem with my name-giving skills."

And Sukuna's head spins at the implication. You're a tease in such a sweet way, and it drives him completely insane.

But Sukuna knows he drives you crazy for him, too. He knows that as much as you like the normal pictures he sends you, you also love the thirst traps he blesses you with.

The pictures where he is shirtless, all his tattoos and defined muscles on display for you, sweat glistening on his strong body, his faded, ripped jeans sitting low on his hips and doing nothing to hide the massive bulge throbbing in them.

You send him pictures, too, not as shameless as the thirst traps Sukuna sends you, but enough to drive him crazy. He has never held himself back so long, but damn, he thinks you are worth all the hard-ons he has and only his own hand to take care of them. Sure, Sukuna could drive to the next bar and find a random girl to ease that pressure, but he doesn't want it. There is only one girl he wants.

Sukuna can wait. He knows you are worth it.

And as much as he wants to have you under him, leaving scratches on his back and squealing his name in pleasure, he also wants to just talk to you or maybe take you on a little ride on his horse.

He calls you every night just to hear your voice and ask about your day, laughing about all the rude customers at the hardware store. Sukuna asks you what you had for dinner and listens to all the latest gossip your mama told you. Sometimes, he falls asleep while listening to your sweet voice and sees a text from you in the morning telling him that he sounds cute when he snores.

Maybe that's ruining the bad-boy reputation that Sukuna has all over your small town, but he doesn't give a fuck. You can see this other side of him. You are the exception, and he finds that he likes that.

Sukuna visits the town as often as his ranch duties allow so he can take you on dates. Sometimes, he drives his old pickup truck, but sometimes, he takes his motorcycle, grinning at you when he parks it in front of your house and takes off his helmet, running a hand through his ruffled hair to smooth it down again, and telling you to come hop on so he can take you on a ride. And you raise an eyebrow jokingly,

"When you said you are a cowboy, I pictured a guy on a real horse..."

And there is this happy sparkle in your eyes, and that sweet laugh falling from your lips. And fuck, Sukuna knows he is a lost man.

He grins back at you, leaning down to greet you with a slow, deep kiss before he holds out his helmet to you,

"This cowboy will let you ride his horse soon, too, but for now, let me show you a bit more horsepower."

Sukuna loves the feeling of your body snuggling against his back, your hands wrapped tightly around his waist, your hands caressing his chest and his abs through his shirt, and your loud, excited laugh when Sukuna accelerates his bike and speeds down the dirt road leading to nowhere, leaving a cloud of dust and dirt behind.

Sukuna parks his motorcycle at a pretty pond and spreads out a picnic blanket in the grass. The two of you sit down to eat something, but it only takes a few minutes before the snacks are forgotten, and Sukuna rolls on top of you and kisses you until he feels dizzy, and you sigh into his mouth.

When you look up at him and touch his face, trace his tattoos with your fingertips, and smile at him, Sukuna knows that he has never been this genuinely happy in his life. But at the same time, it scares him. It terrifies him to feel so much.

He strolls down to the pond, smoking a cigarette while looking over the smooth surface of the water, trying to calm down and stop his fears from swallowing him. Trying to stop that voice in his head that whispers to him that this cowboy should do what he is best at and just run and isolate himself and live his life in solitude.

But your sweet laugh carries to Sukuna's ears as you run towards him, pulling him out of his dark thoughts. Your small hand wraps around his tattooed biceps, and you lean against his side,

"Hey cowboy, come back. I have some homemade lemonade and cake in my bag."

Sukuna turns his head to look at you, at the way you tilt your head to smile up at him, eyes full of affection. How could he walk away from this? Yeah, he is scared out of his mind of all those feelings, but he would regret it even more if he ran.

He blows out his cigarette smoke slowly as a lazy grin spreads over his face, and he leans down to press a kiss on your forehead.

"Homemade lemonade? You sure know the way to my heart, huh, princess?"

He lets you take his hand and pull him back to the picnic blanket, sipping your lemonade and letting you climb in his lap and feed him the cake you baked for him, and Sukuna wraps his arms around your waist, capturing your lips in a sweet, sexy kiss, hoping you can understand the silent promises his tongue writes against yours.

All the words he doesn't dare say out loud because they scare him. But Sukuna knows it's you for him. He knows that he wants by his side. He knows you are his girl and hopes he is your boy, too. He hopes he is a man who is deserving of you and your sweetness. Sukuna promises you silently that he will work damn hard to be that man.

It takes weeks before the two of you have sex.

Sukuna takes you on another date with his old truck this time, driving far out to watch the stars with you and lying in the bed of his truck with you in his arms.

He brought you flowers. The wild ones which grow on his ranch because he feels like you enjoy them more than the ones from the flower shops, and it makes him happy to see you with something from his life.

You thanked him with a sweet kiss and put some of the flowers in your hair, laughing when they fell out again, and Sukuna picked them up again and tucked them behind your ear.

And now those flowers are already out of your hair again, strewn all over the truck bed because the two of you are so lost in your deep tongue kisses and the feeling of your bodies grinding against each other.

The flowers are forgotten, just like the stars above. The only thing you know is each other's mouths and hands that tug on each other's clothes, craving more, needing skin-on-skin contact.

Sukuna's shirt has been long gone, and yours too, leaving you only in your lacey bra and the little skirt, driving Sukuna crazy. Your hands explore the naked skin of his broad back and his biceps, and your lips trail sweet kisses down Sukuna's neck, leaving your lipstick marks on him.

And Sukuna licks and kisses the swell of your breasts above your bra, finally pulling the pretty lacey thing down to reveal your even prettier tits. He sucks one nipple into his warm mouth as he looks up at your face, grinning when he sees your eyelashes flutter and hears the cute little noises you make for him.

You straddle Sukuna's lap, smiling at him with desire burning in your eyes while your small hands wander a bit shyly over his tattooed chest, and Sukuna thinks he will lose his mind if he doesn't finally take you.

He flips you over on your back, pushes his head under your skirt, and eats you out until your legs are shaking and your hands tug on his pink hair, and you cry out his name into the night.

You look up at Sukuna with parted lips and heavy-lidded eyes as you unbutton his jeans and get his achingly hard cock out, stroking him lovingly while you tell him to please make you his girl.

Sukuna has held back for so long but cannot do it anymore. Not when you look at him like that and stroke his cock like that and ask him to claim you. He pushes you down on the truck bed, his arms on each side of your head, his heavy body on top of yours, his lips claiming yours in a possessive, hungry kiss at the same time as his cock claims your sweet, warm pussy.

He takes you with hard, rough thrusts, fucking you almost feverishly once he feels your warm pussy around his cock. And for the first time in his life, Sukuna apologizes for the way he fucks. For his roughness, for his strength. But you cling to him and moan his name and tell him it's okay and that you want him exactly like this.

You leave scratches on Sukuna's back, and he fucks his seed into you over and over again. The two of you can't get enough of each other that night, making out and fucking in various positions until the sky becomes pink with the approaching sunrise, and both of you are sated and exhausted, and you slump against Sukuna's body, hugging him, pressing your tits firmly against his tattooed chest as his spent cock softens gradually inside you.

Sukuna lets his head fall back on the truck bed, his large hands lazily caressing your back, and he looks up at the sky that brings a new morning, thinking that it feels like it's a whole new life that is beginning today.

He drives you back to town an hour later, stealing glances at you the whole drive long, one tattooed hand resting on your naked thigh under your skirt, and your small hand lands on top of Sukuna's, caressing the back of his hand while you sing along to the country songs on the radio. Sukuna can't stop grinning the whole time.

But even after you start to have sex with each other, you still take time to get to know each other even better. It's fun and sexy but also deep and meaningful, and Sukuna catches himself being more open with you than he ever was with anyone before.

He tells you the truth when you ask about his family, tells you that it's messy, that he can't even remember his dad, and that his mama didn't want him either. He tells you about his little brother, who he hasn't seen in many years because Sukuna ran from home the moment he was 18. He confesses all the shit he did. All the stupid things a rebellious teenage Sukuna got involved in. All the trouble and pain he caused his family. All the regrets he has, when he looks back at his former life now.

And you take his large hand into both of yours and hold it so gently, and smile that sweet smile at him, telling him that sometimes families simply are like that. A mess.

You tell him that you like him the way he is, with all his rough edges, and that you wish Sukuna had more love in his life when he needed it the most as a child.

"But you have me now, Kuna. And I will make sure you don't feel alone."

You tear down his walls so easily, break him in the most beautiful way, and build him up again, even stronger than before, because now Sukuna knows what it feels like to be loved.

And Sukuna says those famous three words for the first time in his life.

He pulls you to him, holds you in his arms, and rests his chin on your head, swaying you softly from side to side as he murmurs those words into your hair, words he never thought he would say,

"I love you. And I want to be with you. I know it's hard to love a man like me, but I want this to work. I want you. I want us. And I will work hard for it."

He thinks he will melt when you tell him you love him too and that there is nothing hard about loving him at all.

For the first time in his life, Sukuna stays in someone's bed the whole night.

The two of you kiss at your front door, and you gently pull him inside. You kiss and laugh and playfully tease each other all the way to your bedroom, undressing each other on the way, leaving behind a trail of clothes on your floor.

You call him baby, and Sukuna thinks he will go crazy. He picks you up and carries you the rest of the way until he lays you down on your bed, his lips never leaving yours.

You don't fuck that night but make love, nice and slow. You look so beautiful lying under Sukuna, your face so close to his, your small hands caressing his biceps and his muscular back while Sukuna takes you with slow, deep thrusts, unable to tear his gaze away from you and the love in your eyes when you whisper his name.

Sukuna tells you he loves you again when he is about to cum, and it feels more intense than anything else he has ever experienced. Especially when he feels you cum on his cock, too, sobbing his name and returning the "I love you" several times while you shudder in pleasure beneath him.

Sukuna doesn't let go of you the whole night. He lets you use his chest as your pillow, wraps you in his strong arms, and holds you. The wild, freedom-loving cowboy who usually runs, suddenly all tame.

Sukuna thinks he is right where he should be. He wants to stay forever in your bed and in your arms, holding the girl he loves.

Of course, a cowboy like Sukuna has to leave again in the morning. His ranch needs him. There are miles and miles of fences to fix, horses to train, and cattle to herd. But Sukuna promises to call you every night.

"And if I don't have a signal, I want you to know that I will still think of you, okay princess? Let's make a deal. Every night at ten pm, I want you to look at the sky. And I'll do the same, wherever I am, and imagine you are by my side."

And he laughs softly and hugs you to his strong body, adding,

"I will think about you every second of the day anyway. And I am damn sure you can't get me out of your mind either, huh?"

He winks at you and grins his boyish grin, and you chuckle and get on your tiptoes to kiss his grin off him.

Before Sukuna drives off, you give him a leather cord with a small charm in the form of a horseshoe, telling him you saw it on the farmers market last weekend and thought of him.

"I want to give it to you because I hope it will bring you luck and keep you safe out there on all those lonely nights and long rides."

And Sukuna leaves his bandana at your place,

"So you have something to remind you of me while I am away, princess. Wear it around your pretty throat to keep the chilly winds away and to think of your favorite cowboy."

Sukuna calls you every day just like he promised.

But out here on the plains, where Sukuna is on horseback, with only his dog running along beside him, his life still feels lonely. This solitude used to be something Sukuna chose willingly for himself. Something he thought was the only life that was right for a man like him.

But now Sukuna feels this longing inside his chest, and the questions keep filling his mind. Does a cowboy really have to be alone? Does Sukuna really have to be alone?

His ranch and his life out here are the last parts of him, which Sukuna hasn't opened to you yet. It seemed too risky to bring you here, too intimate. This is the place, after all, where Sukuna fled to so he wouldn't hurt his little brother anymore. A place he used to see as some kind of fortress that kept other people safe from Sukuna and also kept him safe from feeling too much. A place where he was free from all the complications of human interactions.

But things have changed, haven't they?

Sukuna visits you as often as he can, and he catches himself telling you more about his everyday life as a cowboy while watching you closely for your reactions. He tells you what he loves about his life on the ranch, tells you that it is a lot of hard work and that it can be tough at times, but that it is also peaceful, and that he likes that he is free out there.

"I like that I am my own boss because I really don't do well with people trying to tell me what to do."

And you laugh and roll your eyes, and Sukuna grins at you with a wink and adds,

"Well, you are the exception, baby."

And as teasing and light-hearted as it sounds, Sukuna knows that he is telling the truth. He doesn't mind if you tell him what to do. He doesn't mind if he has to take responsibility for his actions. Not when it comes to you.

You beam at him and kiss his tattooed cheek and ask in that sweet voice,

"Will you finally show me your ranch, Sukuna?"

And he knows what you are really asking is for Sukuna to finally let you in. To let this last wall tumble to the ground and allow you into his life in every way.

Sukuna feels strangely nervous when driving you to his ranch. But not because he is scared of losing his last refuge. He is nervous because he is worried you won't like the life out here in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but endless miles of uninhabited land around you and only Sukuna and his animals to keep you company.

Sukuna hopes you will like it. Because there is this small voice in his mind that whispers to him, "I want her to stay."

Sukuna watches you carefully while he shows you around his small ranch, showing you the old farmhouse he renovated, the barn he built with his own hands, and the stables he gave a new paint and a modern interior.

Relief floods Sukuna's chest when he sees the genuine smile on your pretty face and the joy when you pet his favorite horse. You turn to him, telling him that you love his ranch and praising him for turning an old abandoned farm into this pretty place.

"You are so passionate about the things you want, Sukuna, and you work hard for them. That's an admirable trait. This place is beautiful."

Sukuna smirks proudly at you, feeling this warmth in his chest again. He wraps a strong, tattooed arm around your waist and pulls you against him. And he knows exactly what he wants.

"This place is even more beautiful with you here. You remember what I said about enjoying my freedom out here? I feel free with you by my side, too. It doesn't feel like I am giving anything up when I am with you. It feels like I am gaining something."

There are happy tears shining in your eyes when you look up at him, and you smile and put a small hand on Sukuna's defined chest, right where his heart is beating strong and fast,

"I would love to live here with you, cowboy. I could help you with the crops and make sure you always have something warm to eat when you come home in the evening. I could even help with the horses and the cows, I think. And I can keep you company out here and keep you warm at night."

Sukuna doesn't believe in a God, but he thinks some kind of higher power or fate or whatever must have finally blessed him. Must have finally allowed a fallen angel like him some sort of heaven, too.

Sukuna smiles at you, a gentle, genuine smile that he never gives to anyone else, and he takes his cowboy hat off and puts it carefully onto your head,

"Then welcome to your new home, cowgirl."

SIGHHHHH, this cowboy makes me swoon 😭😭💗💗 I didn't expect this story to become so long, but I just couldn't stop writing. It was one of those moments where Sukuna took things into his hands and made me tell the whole story, and of course I do what my man wants ;)

I hope you enjoyed falling in love with Cowboy!Sukuna, too 💗

Thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet.

There will be a Part 2 in which we see our life on Sukuna's ranch.

And once again: Thank you Émilie @sweetlandspos for drawing your beautiful and sexy Cowboy!Sukuna, who inspired me to write this AU!! I hope you find joy in this story!!

[callofdudes]

Happy National Women's Day (yesterday, woops) Celebrated with a platonic story for y/n, Laswell, and Farah.

Readers gender is not specified. This isn't beta read because my eyes really hurt today for some reason.

You had just gotten back from a mission followed by Farah's forces and accompanying assistance of one Alex Keller. After getting back the guys were pretty tuckered out. Price and Simon going for a smoke and Johnny going for a long snooze in his bed. Missions usually left you exhausted.

However, this was the week that Laswell got a much needed break from her work and she wanted to spend it well.

She was sat on the couch, watching you and Simon quietly talk. Farah was cleaning her goggles, frowning over a small scratch in the top corner of the lense.

She could see the stress on Farah's face, and just from your posture she knew you needed a break as well. So when Simon got up to use the bathroom she leaned forward.

"What do you two say we get out of here for a couple days?"

You looked up curiously. "What do you mean?? Get a hotel or something?"

She shook her head. "Camping. My brother has a cabin up in the mountains where his buddies and him go climbing. We could go spend some time out there."

"Would it be quiet?" Farah asks.

"Most likely, it's not a big place. The spot we usually go isn't touristy either."

Farah looks to you. "I've never been camping outside of missions."

"If we can get a place with room for three and not get eaten alive by mosquitoes and the like, then yeah."

Laswell nods. "It's a cabin, so I don't think you'll have to worry too much about mosquitoes. But it'll just be the three of us." Laswell stands, stretching and grabbing her coffee. "We'll head out tomorrow after you're packed."

So the next morning you and Farah brought out your backpacks to Laswell's car. She only had a small vehicle but it was enough to fit all your supplies. Laswell brought her climbing gear, and enough food to last you a week at the cabin.

Once you were all ready to go there was one person you had to say goodbye to.

"Simon it's ok, I'm not going to be gone that long, only a week."

"A week... What am I supposed to do until then??"

"Hangout with the guys, take some time off to relax your feet. Read your book. You'll be ok."

Simon grumbled and looked over at Alex who was staying with them. To Simon's dismay.

You smiled softly, and fixed his sweater hoodie. "Only a week." You wrap your arms around him and he hugged you back, squeezing you for good measure.

Soon enough you packed in and set off on your journey. Farah plugged her phone in and played music from the passenger seat. "Any song requests??"

"Remember that one song you played the other day? With the guitar solo?"

Farah smiled and put the song on, and you jammed away in the backseat. Laswell put her son blocker down and set you off to the nearest coffee shop. Because what's a road trip without coffee?

She took the tray from the man at the drive through window and handed Farah her iced coffee and you your drink. “There you go.”

“Thank you mom.” You smiled and leaned back.

“Of course. Now, it’ll be a bit of a drive.” But you guys were ready for that.

You drove for the rest of the day. As you got closer to the mountains, Farah and you both pointed out a fair bit of wildlife you saw along the roadside.

Farah’s entire day was made by seeing baby ducklings going for a dunk in a small pond with their mom.

Laswell pointed out a few deer on the way, and soon you reached the place. Driving up the road and parking in front of a rather nice little cabin. It was old, with a couple swinging shutters and the frame would need some repainting.

“This is nice.” Farah looked around the grassy area behind the cabin that led up into a large hill. A small fire pit set up around some trees and a stone pathway up to the stairs.

“How did you get this place again??”

“My brother rents it most of the summer for his rock climbing. They come every few weeks.”

“Cool.”

Laswell nods, opening the car door and putting her park pass in the window. She tossed you the keys. “I'll go tell administration we’re here so they don't freak out. You two and get the first pickings.”

You and Farah smiled at each other softly. “Thanks laswell!” You called and grabbed out your stuff. You unlocked the house and you two headed inside. In the small entry way was a couple buckets full of wood and a shelf of paper and some lighters.

A tiny kitchen area and a gas stove. It was a cozy little place. Heading into the next part of the cabin there was a small bench, a cabinet with some games and a bed tucked against the opposite wall.

The back bedroom was separated by a curtain, inside being another two beds.

You and Farah looked at each other. “you can have either, I don't mind.�� She said softly.

You were quiet for a moment. “You want the one by the window??”

“I'd like that.” She admitted.

You nodded and tossed your stuff on the bed in the corner, and let Farah have the bed next to the big window looking out at the field.

Laswell came back with a bag of some firewood and her climbing equipment. Taking dibs on the bed in the other room and getting comfy.

After which she promptly started on some dinner because she was starving. Until then you two opened her tray of fruit from the cooler and snacked away.

“So where do you usually go rock climbing, Laswell?” Farah asks.

“We usually go up one of the old trails. There's an open section of land that shows off this huge rock face. It's the perfect climb. I think it'll be easy enough for you two.”

“We’re capable Laswell.” You chuckle. You could smell the food waft through the cabin. She plated up, and came over to set down two plates for you two. You moved over on the bench allowing Laswell to sit down, and you all dug in.

Talking and laughing as the sun starts to go down on the field, the food being quickly devoured. Laswell brought out brownies as dessert.

You gasped softly. “Are those….”

Laswell smiled and ruffled your hair. “She said they're all yours.”

You eagerly popped the lid off and snatched one to dig into. “Oh Farah, you gotta try one. Her wife makes them the best.”

Farah smiled softly and reached in and took one out. “What's in it, Laswell??”

“Hm? I have the recipe list here if you want to look at it.” She took it from her bag and passed it over. Farah read through it before biting in, humming happily. “Oh, oh these are good.” She took another bite.

“Can I just…” She slid the recipe back toward herself and Laswell nodded. “All yours”

Farah tucked it into her pocket and you two devoured the brownies. Laswell’s wife was the best, always asking what sweets you guys would like best and sending Laswell out to work with a box or two for you guys.

Eventually you all headed to bed. You crawled into bed and rolled over, falling asleep.

Farah pulled the blanket over her shoulder, and opened the window to look out at the darkness. The cool breeze on her face.

She sighed softly, and closed it. Flopping down and rolling over again. She looked into the darkness, trying to arrange the blanket to try and get comfy.

When she couldn't, she leaned over and grabbed the flashlight off the nightstand, flicking it on low. She went over to you, standing at the edge of the bed for a bit before poking you.

“Y/n?” She whispered. You mumbled softly and opened your eyes. “Farah?”

“I'm sorry… I can't sleep.” She whispered.

You smiled softly, and rolled onto your back. You pulled the blanket back to allow her in. “Come on.”

She pursed her lips and flicked the light off. But she crawled into the bed. You gave her some more blanket and closed your eyes again. Farah laid next to you, sighing and slowly closing her eyes.

She held out her hand and you linked your pinky with hers. Helping her relax and fall asleep.

The next morning Laswell was up first. She got dressed and needed a coffee. She pushed the curtain to the second room open and smiled softly when she saw you and Farah curled up, pinkies still linked.

You two could sleep in.

She tied up her hair and went to the kitchen to put hot water on the stove and look through the food bag for what to make for breakfast.

The sound of the kettle woke you up, slowly rubbing your eyes and sitting up. Farah felt you stir and also opened her eyes. “Hmm…??”

“It's ok, you can keep resting if you want.” You assure, and crawled out around her. You scratched your stomach and headed out to the main room.

“Well good morning.” Laswell greeted you.

“Mornin…”

“Coffee??”

“Please.” You nodded.

You sat down at the bench, and heard the curtain shift. “I'm gonna change.” Farah gave you the heads up.

Laswell handed you your fresh coffee. “What do you feel for breakfast??”

“Eggs??” You gave her the innocent best child ever look. “Please mom??”

“Tell you what, find the carton in the cooler and I'll see what I can do.”

Farah filled up her water bottle as Laswell made breakfast, checking her phone. She snickered a little from across the table.

Without further incentive you rushed to the cooler and dug around for the eggs, bringing them to her.

She chuckled and saw Farah come out from the back room soon.

“What are you chuckling about?” You teased softly.

Farah turned her phone and showed you a photo of Alex around a corner with a blurry Ghost in the background.

“You think he's dead yet??”

“Knowing Simon and Johnny… maybe.” You snickered.

“Those three are going to kill each other.” She fully smiled briefly before looking down at the accompanying texts.

“Well, he's still alive but accidentally took some of Ghost’s gummy worms it seems.”

You cringed a little. “Ooh… ouch. I'll have to talk with Simon to make sure he didn't hurt Alex too badly.”

You both have a chuckle over it and Laswell brings you your eggs.

And without hesitation you dig in, humming happily to have your stomach full of food and happy.

“How long is the hike to the rock face??”

“Not long. Fifteen minutes at most. And I've got all the gear for you.”

“Awesome.”

“Now that you've got some fiber in you, let's get going.” Laswell fills her water bottle and grabs the bag of equipment.

“I can carry it for you??” You offered, but she shook her head. “I got it.”

You headed out down the road and hiked up the trail into the mountains. Seeing the tall trees and smelling the fresh air. Feeling the gentle breeze on your warm skin.

Laswell led you up and off the main path to a small outcrop. And there it was. A tall rock face up the side of the mountain with clearly outlined passages and handholds from how much it had been traversed.

Laswell secured her hair and handed you your gear. You and Farah got snug and comfy. Laswell set up the ropes and pegs in the ground to hold you three.

Chalking up your hands.

“You ready, princesses??”

“Hey!” You huffed, rushing after Laswell. Farah chuckled under her breath and found a small ledge to slide her hand into. And you three started to climb.

Farah scaled it fairly easily, though it definitely felt easier when under the pressure of a mission.

You found another handhold and pushed your foot up, feeling around until you could find a spot to slot your shoe in. Securing the tie on your belt.

“You doing ok Farah??”

“A little sweaty.” She wrung her wrist out.

“Let's pause for a minute.” You secured your line and tugged it a couple times before taking your hands off the rocks, keeping your feet in place to keep you from spinning.

Farah did the same, wringing out her wrists and wiping her sweaty palms on her hips.

“Need some more powder??”

“Yeah, thanks.”

You grabbed it off your belt and handed it to her, letting her resupply, and you did the same.

“I bet Laswell is already at the top.” You chuckled.

Farah looked around, trying to spot her. “Oh she probably is.”

“Let's catch up then, hey?”

Farah nodded, and you continued to climb until you reached the top.

And as you suspected, Laswell was already at the top. “You're fast.” You pushed yourself up, shaking out her legs, looking back down at where you came from.

“Oh.” You wobbled a little, stepping back. “It's best not to look down for a minute.” Laswell tipped and looked out at the edge of the cliff. The sun showed out from behind the clouds. It casted down over the lake and reflecting off of the water.

Farah took out her phone and got a picture of the view. Motioning you and Laswell to get close.

You wrapped your arm around her, keeping your hand just off her waist as she attempted a simple smile. Catching the moment with you three.

“Now I'm gonna tell Alex about the fun we’re having.” She chuckled, and put her phone away.

“Maybe I could bring Simon here.” You wondered aloud. You threw sat around the cliff on a small blanket, drinking from your water bottles.

“Hey, I just remembered.”

Farah and Laswell looked at you curiously.

“Happy National Women's Day.”

The two smiled. “That is today, isn't it?” Farah said, and Laswell nodded.

“It is. I almost forgot.”

“I mean, we got the Barbie movie.”

Farah smiled. “I got to see it with some of the girls from my group. Their families said I could come with them.” She fidgeted with her water bottle. “We want to go with Miss Farah.” She remembered them saying.

Laswell looked out at the cliff. “I remember dragging John out with my wife and I.”

You snickered. “Uh oh, how did that go??”

“Oh I think he fell asleep.” She snickered. “It's not his typical movie. But hey, he gave a kicker of a review afterward in the car home.”

You looked down at your hands, looking at all the roughness to your hands. Your battered knuckles and the dirt under your fingernails.

“Do you guys ever feel pressured to look or act a certain way??”

A moment of soft silence went by, letting the breeze drift between you three. “Yes. I think it comes with the territory… but even though I have respect, I still feel mentally challenged a lot to prove myself.” Laswell said.

“Like some of the men in my charge can't understand how I could be as smart as them or understand how to handle pressuring situations.”

"But... Recently a lot of the pressures and beauty standards have been pushed by other women. Which, is sad, considering a lot of them think we need all this stuff done to look pretty or be wanted. But it just isn't true."

You nodded. “Yeah…”

Farah sighed softly. “It feels pressuring every day, to have to dress and act a certain way. Follow a certain code or I won't be respected. I had a man tell me I wouldn't ever have a voice if I didn't have a husband to speak for me.”

You frowned, but nodded. Farah fidgeted a little. “But you know what? I did find my voice. And a voice for many other men and women who couldn't speak before.”

She smiles. “And for every bad person I meet, I've met ten more amazing men I know I have in my corner.”

Laswell nods. “I second that.”

You smile more, happily raising your water bottle. “To the women, and all those who support them.”

You clinked your water bottles and took a large sip. “I'm glad I get to spend the week with you guys. I know it's gonna be awesome.”

“We’re going swimming next.” Farah says quickly.

Laswell and you laugh. “Swimming is next on the list then.”

[shotmrmiller]

cbf!Price?!?!

You mean your older brother's even older friend?

You'd been born in the US to an American mom and a British dad; but his job moved you all back across the pond. New country, new school, new people--it had been hell for you and your brother. But the family next door were so welcoming, especially their only kid, John.

Who always called you 'sunshine', gave you piggyback rides at rugby matches so you didn't get lost in the crowd, and never said "Hello" but, "There's my favorite girl".

The same cbf!Price who was your scary dog privilege when you fell in love with the underground punk scene and wanted to go to the sketchiest concerts.

When he'd enlisted, you'd cried for days, but couldn't bring yourself to tell him why you were so heartbroken, no matter how many times he asked, brows furrowed with concern. "Its only a couple months, luv, then I'll be on post just down the road. We'll still have our weekends."

And he kept that promise, as much as he could, even after you moved out of your parent's home to attend university.

It was forever on the tip of your tongue; the words you so desperately wanted to say, had to bite back, otherwise they'd destroy that precious friendship....

.... I can only imagine the myriad of unfortunate ways he might accidentally hear you whispering his name and those words....

with my brash personality, im fucking him the day he's to leave for basic. js.

no regrets around here.

--

ohmygod! imagine him being captain now, and he brings you to meet the boys.

Johnny whistles low the moment he lays eyes on you. "Steamin' Jesus, Captain. Tha' yer friend? She single?"

John does not answer him.

Kyle is kind, sweet, and courteous. Suspiciously so. It gives John flashbacks of how he acts towards women he wants to bed.

Right.

Simon's just his big, quiet self. He's intimidating, but you're not afraid—after all, you grew up with your bully older brother and John.

John notices his eyes gleam when you talk at him, yes, at, because Simon doesn't respond. But he listens. And he's been listening a little too intently, staring at your dainty hands gesture animatedly.

That's enough, he thinks.

"Time t'go home, love." You pout but wave goodbye at the boys and head towards his vehicle.

Johnny opens his mouth to speak but John quickly intervenes, that unless he wants to start fucking pushing, keep his thoughts to himself.

"I'll see you all at base tomorrow."

On the ride home, you tell him that they were all very nice. John's grip on the steering wheel tightens and says that as nice as they are, they go through women more than they do magazines.

"Oh." Did he imagine the disappointment laced in your voice?

"Do you?" What?

"I don't do it often."

"Oh." He turns his head to look at you, but you're staring out the window.

His heart races and elation thrums through his veins. You definitely sounded upset. John looks straight ahead and speeds up to take you home.

His home.

There's only you for him, and if you won't take the first step, then he will.

--

side note: what if he didn't return those feelings? christ id eat my fucking phone. im running away!!! no one look at me how embarrassing!!! his eyes soften, and he's like, "Oh. I'm so sorry, love. You and I practically grew up together."

That really stings. And then he brings his little girlfriend over to meet you and your brother, and you stiffly shake her hand and go to your room to cry.

Someone softly knocks on your door, and you don't move to open it, just yell at whoever is at the door to fuck off in a warbly voice. John's muffled I'm sorry deepens the crack in your heart.

"'S'alright, John. I'll be okay."

You did this to yourself, anyway.

The marriage invitation comes in the mail and you tear it to pieces.

Since you were young, you dreamt of being Mrs. Price, but now, that's all it'll ever be.

A childish dream.

[thollandneedy]

Rainy Dates- Peter Parker

A/n: It was supposed to be a Nathan Drake fic bc i think i'm not writing enough for him, but this is so Peter Parker coded that i just couldn't 🫠

Warnings: Language and pure fluff

Summary: Peter prepares a date for his childhood best friend aka his crush, but the rain ruins everything

Don’t forget to share, like, comment and leave your ideas here

Bellah’s Masterlist 🪻

It was no surprise to anyone that Peter was completely infatuated with his childhood friend, Y/n. The girl always visited Peter's house, as she was his apartment neighbor and would leave her window open when the boy was home, so they could see each other and talk on the phone at the same time. Y/n also knew about this little crush that Parker was trying to hide, but she allowed him to take enough time to call her on a date.

The Saturday afternoon sun was bright, and the rain clouds that once warned of a storm now seemed to have gone. Peter was under a tree in the park, less than a 20-minute cab ride from where they both lived. The day was planned, and the to-do list on Peter's cell phone showed it, as his feet tapped against the grass with nervousness. When he'd told Y/n that he'd like to go out with her, he hadn't told her that it would be a date, even though everything he'd put together showed that it was something romantic.

In front of the boy in the blue plaid shirt, there was a tablecloth spread over some autumn leaves, a basket he had stolen from his aunt May with some typical picnic food. A few plastic cups because May had said she didn't want him to break the new ones she'd bought him, and a dirty orange one from a box. Inside the basket was a bouquet of colorful flowers, which he planned to give to Y/n as soon as she arrived.

While his anxiety seemed to want to burst out of the hero's chest, Ned's voice on Peter's phone tried to calm him down.

“Dude, take it easy. Everything's going to be fine.” The brunette on the other end of the line said, his eyes fixed on his video game.

“I know it will, but I want it to be perfect. I've been planning this all week, and nothing can go wrong now.” Peter leans his back against the tree trunk, crossing one of his arms and resting the instep of his foot on the tree.

“Shit!” Ned exclaims.

“What? What? Did Y/n send you something?” Peter is startled out of his initial position.

“The zombie got me.” Ned explains angrily.

“Ned! I need you to pay attention.” Peter asks in a whimper.

“I am. I swear I am. Here's the plan, be nice and show that you're not nervous, okay?” Ned pauses his game, turning around.

“My ass is literally sweating, and I didn't even know that was possible.” The brunette replies, drawing a muffled laugh from his best friend.

“Dude, focus. You have to be what you've always been, only less awkward and sweaty. Compliment her, don't forget the flowers and definitely don't try to kiss her if she doesn't give you signs that she wants to be kissed.”

“What if I want her to kiss me?”

“You can't always be the center of attention, Spider-Man.” Ned jokes, opening the door to his room and walking into the kitchen.

“NED! Keep your voice down! Your grandmother might hear.” Peter warns the brunette, speaking in a low voice and once again looking around.

“Peter, my grandmother is the deafest person I know.”

“Oh fuck, I think she's here. I've got to go.” Peter comments as he sees from a distance a person passing along the paved line where people and bikes pass in front of the duck pond.

The pond in front of the lawn was quiet, and not even the ducks hovering over the water seemed to be excited by the presence of those throwing bread to feed them.

“Don't forget the signs of the kiss. And don't talk about your sweaty ass.”

“Have a heart, Ned.” Peter comments with a grimace. “I'll call you later.” Without even managing to say goodbye to his friend properly, the call goes dead on Ned's side, who just shrugs and goes up to his room again.

His eyes squinted, trying to make out the image of the girl who seemed to be Y/n from afar. With a twinkle in his eye, the brunette raised his hand to greet her, but when he got a few feet closer, he realized it wasn't her. Embarrassed, he put his hand up to his hair, pretending to fix it. Peter put his head down, denied it to himself and then turned to where the picnic was set up.

“ HOLY SHIT!” Peter exclaims at the image of Y/n standing in front of him, letting out a loud laugh that makes her kneel for a few seconds on the ground, catching her breath at having accidentally startled Peter.

“Am I that ugly?” Y/n laughs again.

Peter looked her over from head to toe. The girl was wearing bell-bottom jeans with a red sweater that clung to her curves, along with an old black all-star that Y/n refused to take off her feet, having been a gift from Peter two-three years ago.

“You're never ugly. You're always flawless, even when you're snotty.” Peter comments, smiling.

“For your information, it was you who gave me the flu, okay? And I'm better now, thanks for asking.” Y/n sits down on the cloth stretched out on the green of the park. “What did you bring for us to eat?” Y/n tries to peek inside the basket, but Peter puts his hand on top of hers, preventing her from peeking.

“Your favorites.” Peter brings the basket close to him, opening it and showing the bouquet. “These are your favorites, right?” Peter hands over the flowers, drawing a tender smile from his childhood best friend's glossy pink lips.

“Peter, they're beautiful. I love them.” The girl thanks him, sniffing them as the boy removes the food and places it on the cloth. “I brought you something too.” Y/n recalls, causing the brunette to look at her curiously.

“You didn't have to bring anything. I told you I wanted to pay for today.”

“It's no big deal, I promise. I went to the market and saw a huge box, so I got it for you.” Y/n takes out a bag with various flavors of kit-kats. “I know you like them a lot, so I got some new flavors for you to try.”

Peter smiled without showing his teeth, thanking her with his eyes.

“I didn't even end up asking you how your exam went yesterday. Did you pass?” Peter asked, putting the bag behind him.

“I hope so, especially after you helped me. I feel like I haven't thanked you enough.” Y/n comments, moving closer to Peter until their shoulders are side by side.

“The kit-kats already thanked me” Peter laughs awkwardly. “I was a bit afraid you weren't coming today.”

“Why? Do you think I'd let you down in our… well… this thing we're having now. I'm not sure what you want to call it yet.” Y/n pauses as she says it.

Y/n had always known that Peter and she were more than friends, and had discussed it a few times growing up, because friends didn't feel jealous when they kissed other people or went out with other people. Peter had only had one girlfriend, and a few girls he had taken out, but none of them made him feel what Y/n made him feel. Y/n, on the other hand, didn't go out with almost anyone as she hoped that one day Peter would make a move, but when she realized that he would take a long time, she became more open to meeting guys her own age.

“I… would you say it's a date?” Peter says uncertainly, waiting to see Y/n's reaction, who replies with a sweet smile.

“Of course. A date then.” Y/n agrees, tucking her hair behind her ear. “And what do we do on a date? You've been on several. You must be confident.” Y/n mentions.

“I've been on seven. And I'm sweating in places I didn't know water could come out of, to tell you the truth.” Peter laughs, looking away. “I'm also a bit unsure of how to act, really. We're so used to being close, but when it becomes something real and romantic, it's like I don't even know you. You just become an idealization of me.”

“I'm ideal for you, then? Good to know.” Peter plays cocky.

“Shut up, Parker. I'm not the one who prepared all this, and apparently I'm not the one who's the most nervous either.” Y/n retorts, taking a piece of the snacks cut into squares.

Without them noticing, the wind began to blow harder and heavy rain clouds approached. Peter looked up, closing his eyes in frustration.

Shit

A few drops of rain began to fall on the couple's heads as they began to organize the food in the basket once again. As much as they tried to be agile, the rain was faster. In less than two minutes, the heavy rain came down with a fury, soaking the couple's clothes. Peter felt frustration take over his chest, cursing to himself once again.

“I should have trusted the weather forecast. The sky was so fucking clear.” Peter curses.

“Relax, Peter. It's just rain.” Y/n stands up, picks up his bag and puts it on his shoulder.

“It's not just rain, Y/n!” Peter exclaims with his hands, unhappy. “I've had this date for a week. I planned the place because it's in front of the lake and I know you like watching the sunset. Far away from rubbish dumps, I made the food, I even paid a bunch of kids not to play ball nearby so we could have some alone time, and now you're wet, the flowers are wet and there's nowhere close to be without the rain soaking us all!” Peter says loudly as the sound of the thunder seemed to want to silence him

Y/n held the brunette's hand, guiding him to a tree with large leaves and standing under it. The drops still reached the couple, but it was less worse than if they had been completely exposed to the sky. Peter took a deep breath, placed the basket between his feet, and denied himself once more. Y/n's hand was still in the brunette's, who then looked at the girl, her breasts marked by the wet, clinging clothes.

“Sorry.” Peter says. “I didn't want to get stressed, but I wanted it to be a nice time.”

“It's okay, Peter.” Y/n squeezes the hero's hand. “I like rainy days.” The girl says, trying to cheer up her friend.

“Remember when you got dumped by that Daniel guy? And you made me pick you up from that bakery, and it started raining really hard and so we were sharing the phone while The Neighborhood was playing. You said “I hate rainy days”, and I said “but they're nice with you because you're cold and I can warm you up”. You called me an idiot, and smiled afterwards.”

Y/n stared at Peter as he recalled one of Y/n's first encounters. The girl had always known that Peter was a guy who cared about her, and paid attention to details that she might not even remember. Her heart began to beat harder with every word Peter said, as if her body had been teleported back to that day when she was 15 and heartbroken. Peter stared after her, just enjoying the comfortable silence between them and the sound of the rain in the background.

“I'm cold now.” Y/n says, locking her eyes with Peter's, who moves closer to the girl, putting one of his arms behind her and pulling her wet body to his.

“Good, because I can keep you warm.” Peter replies, feeling his heart beat faster the closer their faces get, allowing their lips to stick together shyly.

Peter turned his torso so that he was face to face with Y/n, who placed both hands on the brunette's cheeks, while Peter's strong hands held Y/n's waist tightly, as if he didn't want his body to escape the warmth emanating from him. Their tongues wrapped around each other carefully until the kiss was broken by both of them being startled by a bolt of lightning that struck close to where they were standing.

“We'd better get going until we find a place. There's an ice-cream parlor a ten-minute walk from here as far as I know.” Y/n comments, looking at the park full of puddles.

“Shall we listen to some music?” Peter takes a Bluetooth headset out of his pocket, handing one of the earphones to Y/n, who laughs to herself and nods.

“Listening to music it is, then.” The girl puts the earphone in one of her ears, holding it in her free hand, and walks out from under the tree without worrying that the rain will make them sick later.

[nuwho20zine]

"I'm not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And it's time we saw each other as we really are. Amy Williams."

STORY OF THE WEEK: The God Complex

Release date: 17 September 2011 Main characters: Eleventh Doctor, Amy Pond, Rory Williams Main villain: Minotaur

🚨 Before proceeding, here is a gentle reminder that pre-orders start in 7 days! Make sure to follow us so you don't miss it.

“The God Complex” is one of those episodes I can never find the words to describe; every now and then I remember the Doctor’s moments with Amy, and something in my chest hurts. Just rereading over my notes from when I rewatched this episode makes me wanna gobble it up. Even the synopsis is a banger - “The Eleventh Doctor, Amy, and Rory investigate a hotel of horror where repeat business is low but the body count is high, where a mighty monster stalks the corridors and the rooms hold visions of angels, apes, and creepy clowns.” - and it only grows from there. As someone on Reddit says, “The Doctor inadvertently causing a number of guests to die because he misreads the situation is a brilliant way to turn the narrative away from just being a spook-fest and into a character study.”

It is an episode that, I think, often flies under the radar, but it was beloved by the contributors of the zine, particularly by Quartz (find them @cousin-quartz-of-house-paradox ), who writes: ““The God Complex” is, boiled down to its essentials (the plot, setting), an absolute banger of a story. A house which isn't, luring people in by their worst fears, and harnessing their best efforts to fight against it, while there being, quite literally, a minotaur at the centre of the labyrinth, who's grown tired and old and just wants to stop.” It’s an episode that already packs so much juicy and interesting details from the get-go, but it only grows from there.

Quartz continues: “The Doctor paralleled with the minotaur, the companions paralleled with the people feeding it (because what is a God without its followers? What is the Doctor, what are their brilliant plans without somebody to witness them?) I mean, sure, say what you will about its semi-misogynistic Moffatisms, but really, nothing’s without faults. And I really think that, with the so real seeming (if slightly flat) and interesting one-offs, the mystery of what was behind the Doctor’s room (which, in my opinion, should have been kept a mystery. It's better that way, because it's Schrödinger’s room now, and every single thing or being or entity the Doctor has ever feared, including themselves at their worst, are behind that door. A paradox worthy of the show’s history), and the repercussions of Amy’s hero-worship of the Doctor, all play out so nicely. All we could hope for is a bit more justice for Mr Pond, eh? He should've got to say goodbye to the Doctor, and nobody really believes in nothing, but if you changed just belief to blind faith, it just might work. So, Geronimo, and don't let the universe get you down (because, after all, despair is a given, but we insist on hope.)”

It was a delight to revisit "The God Complex" for this post! Stay tuned for this week's spotlight, coming on Wednesday.

[ceiling-karasu]

Ideas on the two night watch squirrels from Episode 1

So, @rei-does-stuff and I have been talking about the two night patrol squirrels from episode one of SaH, since we both have the brainrot about them.

We both actually really like the names Sunchal Darami (Watch Squirrel) and Bocho Darami (Sentry Squirrel). Add yagan as night we can get Yagansunchal Darami and Yaganbocho Darami, since we headcanon them as essentially the night watch-squirrels for the village.

We both kind of see Geumsaegi as if he was their mentor. Both Sunchal and Bocho individually looked up to Geumsaegi as a great friend, and he cared for them right back as comrades. In turn, they all idolized Uncle Gom, as well, and saw him as an older family member who protected them.

I have a whole backstory scenario planned out and everything. I might actually write it or draw parts of it.

It is possible that those two squirrels were childhood rivals, whose animosity continued into adulthood while they vied for Geumsaegi's attention. Eventually, Geumsaegi put them on night shift watch duty as punishment until they could learn to get along.

But then I am thinking of a situation such as, one day, Sunchal and Bocho are having an argument a ways away from the village, over whether or not they heard some strange noise. The two enter a storeroom in order to muffle the yelling so they don’t get punished further. Except the noises one thought they heard were caused by some mice, so they get captured. They get dragged out into the woods, and have to work together to escape, once it turns out that they don’t actually know the schedules of the hedgehog patrols.

The two squirrels end up lost in the woods in the winter, and have to find shelter in a small cave or emergency shelter after one of them breaks through the surface of an icy pond (maybe the mice stop chasing them because they don’t want to deal with a prisoner with hypothermia).

They wind up confessing their grievances against each other and making up, and some time later, Uncle Gom manages to find them and bring them home.

(Or some variation of all that).

And the three are fast friends ever since, and peacefully hang out around the village and Flower Hill, but the two don't really dislike the night watch, and so stay on it.

However, after Geumsaegi leaves to become a scout infiltrating the Weasel Unit, he does not really get much of a chance to say goodbye, leaving behind a pair of very confused and concerned friends who do not understand.

I might draw them roasting chestnuts at night sometime. I do need to draw someone roasting chestnuts on an open fire, since I promised I would do it. Maybe the squirrels do it in the cave or something to stay warm.

We never really see these two squirrels differentiated after that episode, so Rei and I are discussing a headcanon in which these two squirrels

in civilian clothes from Secret Document, are the night watch squirrels out during the day.

[inthehoneymoonwithconnorrk800]

washing machine heart

Tw: mentions of domestic abuse, bad use of english.

You blinked when you saw another message from Devi. You smiled and didn't hesitate to answer her, she replied instantly and you continued with the topic of this year's goals because Devi didn't want to say a word, the most you managed to get was that it's a surprise. You mumbled defeated and looked at your beloved pet who returned your discouragement. "I'm coming, Dido." You sneaked up and walked over to your turtle's little makeshift pond. You'd had her since you were nine years old when you and your younger sisters asked for a puppy, but after your father's scream, the most you could get was Dido. You adored Dido and you were sure she adored you. Or at least she had to because you was the only one who cared for her. "Good morning, sweetheart."

You almost jumped with surprise when you heard your father. It was very rare to saw him in the early morning, you usually only met him for about five minutes at breakfast before you left for school. "Good morning, dad. " You headed to the small yard where you threw the garbage. Your father smiled at you like he did when he wasn't angry and went to the refrigerator, he was wearing sweatpants and his classic white bividi. "Would you like a salad?" he pointed to the apples they had gotten from a contest at the grocery market. "Sure, let me get dressed." Apparently you wouldn't eat at school today. Much better, breakfast food wasn't very delicious and ended up leaving you hungrier. You pulled out your backpack and put away your cell phone. For a moment, you thought about Ben. Your nemesis. You'd see him in most of the classes today, but that's the good thing, they would be exciting classes, and besides, you'd prepared in advance for the courses. "So early? "your father asked with a distracted air, as if you didn't usually leave at this hour. You were about to answer, but your sister Liana appeared, a curious thing because she was the sleepiest. "Will you two please stop making noise?" she growled. "You won't let me sleep."

"Okay, my life." She left just as she came. Your progenitor passed the plate and silverware, apparently, he had taken the matter of keeping quiet lightly. "How's school going?" "Pretty good, although today is the first day. " You pinned your gaze on his hair, he was balding and gray hair was starting to appear. You moved your legs anxiously, he'll soon be too old…. You shook your head at your dark thoughts. "Much better, let's not lose focus on the studio." You agreed. "Do you know what we're going to have for dinner?" "No idea, that's your mother's business." You mentally cursed, they were still fighting. "Well, whatever," you said hurriedly, "I'll be leaving in a few minutes. "Don't you want me to come with you?" "Uh…, no, thanks. I'm a big girl now." "It's dangerous to go out at this hour, we don't live in the safest place in the world…" "I wouldn't worry about that "you insisted. "I've been out several times and, besides, I know self-defense." You walke quickly to the door, preventing from saying anything else to antagonize you. "Goodbye!"

You were thankful it was still dawn and jogged out of the building. You could hear barking from the street and some sounds of cars, the usual. You relaxed for a moment. You hated being late, the thought alone made you nauseous. Often as a child you would start crying when you were late somewhere and your face would turn so red they would call you tomato. You raised your arm towards a bus and decided to distract yourself for a moment by the window, you didn't want to invade your first morning with unpleasant memories. The sky was blue when you ran into Eleanor. "Hi!" you kissed her cheek. You expected some new theatrical greeting and so it was because she brought her hand up to her chest. "How's that?" "It's hello! in Malaysia, I'm practicing for a role at the club." "You don't even need to practice, you're the president." "Aww, stop it." "It's just the truth, you're the best. What's with the earring?" "You like it? I picked it out at a Cherokee store." "In a Cherokee store? "you asked with interest. You were of native Latino ancestry and were glad to know that you always hear from other Native Americans. "Yes it is! It's near my house, if you come by on Friday I can show it to you. I brought you some sweet min paos, my stepmother loved how you complimented her baked goods." "She's an excellent cook…and wow, thank you" happily, you stowed the small cardboard container in your backpack. "Wait a minute, isn't that Fabiola?" "Let's both say hello to her at the same time! " Both of you headed for the entrance to the technology room. However, you collided with the undesirable. "What's with that zombie face, (Y/n)?" he smirked presumptuously, he was right, you rarely slept well." Nervous because you'll come in second place?" "Oh, please "you teased. "I could take you down single-handedly." "Oh, really? Just like I did with you in Karate class?"

"Just so you know, I got brown belt. I'm going to take your place this year." "Yeah, right," he replied as if what you said was a silly joke. "Remember I beat you by two extracurriculars." "Don't claim victory! " you exclaimed. "I negotiated with Devi and now I'll be in the same number of classes as you. Who knows, maybe I'll overshadow you in some. "You wouldn't dare!" he looked at you with indignation. "Well yes I do" you pointed at his chest. "(Y/N)" Eleanor called out to you. "This isn't over!" "No doubt about it! " you gave him a mean look and went to Eleanor. You ran to catch up with Fabiola, who was unusually distracted, her afro hair was quite shiny, apparently she had slathered on some lotion. Dramatically, Eleanor put her hand to her chest and you mimicked her, though not with as much expression. "Did I miss something?" "It's a greeting in Malaysia "you casually commented. "I greet them too " she imitated you. "Have you seen Devi?" "Not a sign of her." For some reason, you had a feeling she would sweep them off their feet to some madness. That was what you liked about her, she could do things you wouldn't dare me to do. "Girls!"you heard Devi's excited voice. "Devi!" "Everything okay?" you raised an eyebrow. In the distance, you could see the silhouette of annoying Ben. "Yes! I have a plan that will change our lives." Her bright gaze told you that you would unite in madness, as you were used to since elementary school.

@leossmoonn

@babyxbunnyx

@benpaxfab

@photoboothphotos

@aaml2704

@neverhaveievergiffed

@bengrossart-blog

@bengrossart-blog

[vimesbootstheory]

CK S6 Pt1 Thoughts

Do we still call this "the cut" or did we leave that behind on LJ? Anyway the thoughts are under the cut. I haven't looked at anyone else's thoughts yet, no idea whether this is echo chamber stuff or if I watched a different show than the rest of you.

Overall I honestly had a blast, I'm probably gonna talk more here about stuff I disliked but that's because positive stuff kept me glued to the screen while negative stuff sent me to vent in the notes doc I had open in another window lol

Eagle Fang was Johnny's thing, not an extension of Kreese's Cobra Kai, and I was so angry at the show for not understanding that that I burst into tears

I continue to think that the big cast is spreading character work too thin, such that most characters were either made much less interesting than they have been in previous seasons (e.g. Daniel, Miguel) or were given too little time with the character work they had (e.g. Robby, Kenny) or both.

Characters I made particular note of who are now boring: Daniel, Amanda, Sam, Hawk.

I was surprised in particular how Daniel was given virtually no character work other than this token Miyagi thing. I prefer when Daniel's a bitch. Daniel being The Reasonable One is incredibly boring.

We kinda got slutty gi back? In hallucination form? Briefly?

This was a hard realization: I don't think I ship Daniel/Johnny in these episodes. I'm still absolutely bonkers for them in previous seasons (1-4 mostly) and in the fandom sphere but honestly I wanted Johnny away from Daniel most of the time in s6e1-5. I found it really off-putting how much Daniel was trying to change Johnny into someone he's not.

Fave new character was Kwon. Enjoyably silly. I like his anime hair.

Delighted that Jarmen baby is a girl, even more delighted that the topic of the baby was pretty backgrounded, didn't spend a lot of time on it.

I am filled with incandescent rage that they neutered SamTory; it was weird rooting for Johnny's terrible strategies to make them frenemies instead of friends. But it looks like they're not quite done yet so I'm gonna cool my heels on this point.

Team Captain nepo babies lol. I would be so pissed if I were any of the other Miyagi-Do students.

Loved Johnny championing his female students. In an ideal world I would not have had a little voice at the back of my head wishing he'd spend the same kind of quality time with Robby (How about some Robby time? Robby? Robby now? Johnny and Robby?); nevertheless for what it was, I still really like Johnny supporting Devon and (to a lesser extent) Tory. Meanwhile Daniel over here in his sexist era I guess, ok. Like he really only wanted to send his daughter and no other girls.

Peyton List is the part-season's MVP, obviously obviously. She was so great. Kicked ass, kicked acting's ass. Tory was probably the meatiest character of the season, too, though that's not saying a ton.

My worst fears were not realized re: Johnny's character. He still isn't the fully-realized guy he was in early seasons, but relative to other characters, he's having a pretty OK season IMO. Knock on wood.

I was unexpectedly all riled up on Anthony's behalf. Why does he HAVE to get into karate? Why does he have to be Daniel 2.0? At least this was addressed textually.

So pissed on Kenny's behalf. Justice for Kenny. He deserved one of the top 6 spots. He got poo pants instead. Jesus Christ.

Loved the Lawrence vs Barnes fight, very metal, excellent choreo, love watching Zabka move. I would bet the cobros are lighting up at having an answer on that particular head-to-head.

This has been a running thing with Cobra Kai for a while, but I'm not even sure how I as an audience member was supposed to see Johnny's current teaching style? Honestly I loved his day of blended-style lessons. Obviously broken glass in the koi pond is not a great idea. But like. Jesus Christ, Daniel, katas HAVE STRIKES. WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT.

Did they really just write Chozen out without any goodbyes? :(((

Daniel's ego flare-up and "I'm the boss" moment, contender for only interesting aspect to his character in these five eps. Hell yea hell yea. Show some goddamn teeth Daniel LaRusso.

One thing I think CK excels at and has always excelled at is keeping the stakes up for tournament-style fights, such that more often than not, I can't tell just through narrative signposting who's going to win. Robby vs Miguel in particular was a nail-biter. I did a full-body arm-pump when Robby won. Though the stakes were weird because it's not as someone can't win in Barcelona if they're not a captain? That was confusing and makes me think it's going to be their way of doling out successes across the main four kids. Like Robby and Sam for the captains, and then Miguel will win, presumably Tory too when she flip-flops back to team good guys again.

Interesting acting/directing/writing (idk which) choice during Robby vs Miguel, Johnny visibly rooting for Robby.

I love that Johnny brought up losing his mum when Tory's mum died, but I really hope they get the chance to bond over it at some point.

The fuckin magic jewel bottle cap got me so bad. Resourceful DIY toys is poor person realness and it was so cute and heartbreaking.

It's weird that new!CK got into the tournament because it's clearly not really the same dojo, so they haven't really qualified.

I'm so pumped about Kreese being the main villain. That was true before the season began and I still feel that way.

I'm excited for part 2!

[f0point5]

Hey, sorry in advance if this turns out very long 😅 it's just that I find you have very nuanced and interesting takes about f1 and I wanted to hear your opinion about what came up in my post race thoughts and conversations.

Mostly it is about Danny / the Redbull second driver mess since he left. To put it simply I think it boils down to: What even is this driver management?

Danny leaves and we get the whole Pierre and Alex debacle where they were just not ready yet for the pressure. Granted I still think that given the chances RB had at that point they could have given them a bit more of a chance but whatever.

Then comes Checo, and at first, he delivers, and all is fine until he seemingly can no longer pull anything and there's rumors left and right about him being replaced for like a year at this point. Not to mention this time, there is actually something at stake, so getting rid of him might actually be the right thing for the championship(s). But they keep him anyway. For what? Money? Vibes? The fact he pointed out the car was shit?

Meanwhile, their second team gets seemingly worse every year. I mean, that car is a tractor, not to mention the abysmal strategies. Pierre leaves to have a chance somewhere else. Yuki improves, which is good, but it's clear they'll never promote him to RB, and he's frankly not good at providing helpful feedback for their development in any way. Nyck was there for like a minute before he was kicked. Back comes Danny only to injure himself and in jumps Lawson. Danny recovers and comes back, but he's not a wizard who can suddenly deliver while that team is just shit. But he provides valuable feedback and helps bring both teams forward, at least somewhat from what we heard.

Only to kick him out for what exactly? To bring Lawson in now rather than next season? I like liam and he deserves a chance but what good does bringing him in right now do instead of just letting Danny finish the season and retire at the end of it. Cause if that truly was his last race it's honestly just sad he couldn't even get a proper goodbye.

Don't get me wrong, it's better than if things had ended after McLaren, but still... I don't see what advantage RB gains to rush the inevitable. At best, Lawson comes in and is slightly better than Danny. He would still need at least one to two seasons before he could be ready to switch to RBR. And if that doesn't work? Do they just keep holding on to checo because they have no alternative? No one on the current grid just wants to play second fiddle to Max, I'd say.

I guess I'm just confused as to the timing of things. I love Danny, but he was never the same after McLaren, so I knew his days back were numbered. But to just rush him out like that after his history with RB doesn't sit right with me if there is seemingly nothing to really gain from it right this moment

Ok so.

I have to say, I think There’s sooo many factors here. But I’m just going to say I think it mostly boils down to the fact that since late 2022, Red Bull has been entirely reactionary in terms of their driver lineup.

I maintain that it was a good idea to get rid of Pierre and Alex. Pierre was a loose canon, and Alex was a mess by the end of 2020, he needed that break to sort his head out. And I think ultimately he works better as a big fish in a small pond. Putting young drivers next to Max didn’t work because they were too close in age so the competition was too intense and they were too prone to using Max as a hard stick, plus they were too early in their careers to settle into the second driver role. Bringing in someone like Checo, who had experience but also was just grateful to have a good car, was the right move.

But I think the end of 2022 is where it started going off the boil. In terms of Alpha Tauri, it stopped being a proper junior team when they moved Pierre back there, and kept Yuki for several years (most likely because of the Honda deal). They had these two sitting there not doing anything creating a bottleneck. And then Pierre left, and instead of promoting from within their own talent pool they brought in Nyck. Big mistake. Clearly they wanted someone experienced, maybe hoping to have a back up in case they didn’t keep Perez long term, but them having to send Liam to super formula is where the problem started. Now, obviously there’s rumours about Daniel being on that non-compete with McLaren so maybe they wanted him in originally, who knows, but the fact is, Liam should have had the Alpha Tauri seat. This is where the bottleneck started in their talent pool.

Then 2023 happened, and Perez’s dip in performance was embarrassing, but RB didn’t care because Max was winning the championship on his own, breaking records on his own, bringing brand visibility on his own. (But I think it’s important to note, he was NOT bringing in the cash on his own. There were rumours that sponsors weren’t even happy because of how little coverage Max got in races. Not to mention with a €50m base salary plus a bonus structure, Red Bull probably had to pay out around €70m to Max. Perez’s latam and sponsor support were probably crucial to balancing the books that year). But RB still had to react to the poor press they were getting from the dominance, and Nyck’s poor performance…enter Danny Ric (and let’s not forget them shopping for new title sponsors, who were probably more likely to slap their name on a team with such a popular driver in a seat).

Then Danny Ric has an accident. They have to react to that so enter Liam Lawson. Then Lawson over-delivers so they have to react again to keep him under contract but they can’t afford to get rid of Daniel…so they sign some half baked contract promising him a race seat (potentially even promising him races in 2024) to keep the option on him until October (Helmut said they had until October to offer him a race seat).

Everything they do is just plugging holes.

So now they have three drivers for three seats. But that’s the least of their problems because their car has gone to hell and they’re on the verge of pissing off Max The Mealticket. So maybe they kill two birds with own stone and give Max a teammate he likes, who likes the same car as he does, keep Cash Cow Ricciardo, and keep Lawson. And Perez is underperforming anyway so Daniel can’t really be worse.

But oh no. Liberty Media says “that’s not going to work for us”. So now they’re stuck again.

They need to keep Lawson, because neither Perez nor Ricciardo have the shelf life never mind the talent to replace Max if he decides to leave because they’re near the end of their careers. So their only option is to dump Ricciardo. Maybe they’re keeping him sweet saying they’re trying Lawson out for the rest of the season and if he doesn’t deliver they’ll bring Daniel back but lbr, Liam will very likely do well enough. And fundamentally this is the only way they can get rid of the bottleneck.

My point is…I don’t think this is driver management as much as it is two years of crisis management. I don’t think they have a plan, I think they are just constantly trying to deal with an unsustainable situation.

And I didn’t even touch on the Austrian/British/Mateschitz/Thai/Christian/Helmut power struggle. But I think that’s such an unknown that I would be speaking with even less facts there so it would just be 95% conjecture.

Not that the driver stuff is all facts but I feel like I managed to put together a coherent theory based on a timeline.

Anyway I hope you got where I’m going with this?

[sinnohsiblings]

◀️◀️

Shay or Calama

I'll do both.

Shae

He sat idly by a pond frowning as other shaymin fluttered around its flowers. He was in no mood to frolic with them. They may have been his species but they weren't his kin. These like every single other lifeform here were strangers to him, aside from the one he'd been let get close.

He sighed before he heard a familiar voice perk up calling his name, "Shae!"

His heart fluttered in excitement as he jumped up spotting a familiar Shaymin fly through a void rift, his sister.

"Iris!" He said with a beaming smile and weepy eyes as he ran over and threw his arms around her in the tightest hug their tiny bodies could give, "I missed you so much."

He reluctantly pulled back to wipe his face "it's so good to see you, you have no idea!"

"it is...I just wish I came with better news..."

His smile faltered as he looked at his sister feeling a knot start to form in his belly, "what is it?"

"Dad passed away...mom wanted to tell you as soon as we could, the funerals already happened by now...I'm not a very fast flyer...I'm sorry."

And with that Shae's heart really felt like it had been shredded, he never got to say goodbye.

Calama.

There he sat in the void as he always did monitoring its darkness as he always has.

Thirty years and he hasn't seen a sign of Goliaopede, it seemed he was getting an extended break or maybe that massive crack he put in his big ugly face was taking longer to heal. Maybe Calama had hurt him enough to buy him a 50 year break of his nonsense.

Good he could use the breather at his age.

He heard a rip sound from behind him and he lazily turned his head to face the woman who exited, "You shouldn't be out here, it's dangerous you fool." He grumbled.

"How else could I visit my favorite salty serpent? It's not like he comes by to visit us as much anymore."

"you know I can't. I'm too big to not injure or unintentionally kill anyone." He frowned turning back to the void.

"I know...but don't you want to see her? Be part of her life?"

"...it's better that I am not."

"She's your daughter Calama. She deserves to know you."

"I almost killed her because I flew past her too fast!" He snapped, "what do you think would happen if she knew who I was and came snooping out here and Goliaopede were to show up? I breath in the wrong direction and it would scatter her to ashes. Be realistic!"

"She's...not that fragile anymore. It's been eons since that happened. She wants to know who she is, why she is now twice the size of others her age. Every day she gets bigger and everyday this charade gets weaker. My love she looks just like you even your brothers seem to have noticed something. They've been snooping around more."

"I'll deal with them. Excitable stupid fools they are. you should go back inside. The void is no place for you to be."

"fine." She sighed and kissed his flank, "will you at least come in tonight and sing with me after you've finished brooding?"

"I'll think about it."

She chuffed at him with a smirk as those emerald eyes of hers that he loved so much rolled with annoyance and she vanished into the rift she came from.

[thebabblingbrookenook]

I had a bit of writer's fun tonight with a talented bunch of gals. It was all inspired by this lovely Benedict Bridgerton edit by the @bridgertontess

The game was to write a 500 word (most of us went over 😜) ficlet that told the story of what turned sweet Ben into Eeyore. The results were hilariously diverse. This was my attempt to explain his melancholy.

Thanks for playing ladies. I had a blast! @fayes-fics @eleanor-bradstreet @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @colettebronte

He waited. He waited as long as he could and then stayed an hour longer. Even after the rain soaked through his clothes, chilling his bones - he stayed. He would always stay for you. The problem was that you always seemed to be leaving him.

Each time he had to say goodbye, it hurt a little deeper for a little while longer. But then, one day, he'd hear the knock at his door and find you on the other side. He never hesitated to let you right back in, even though the chances of you walking out again were easily foreshadowed.

He knew he should stop, but he couldn't help himself. That's what addicts do. They give in to the desires of their flesh. Not because they aren't strong enough to turn away, but because somewhere inside them, they don't want to stop. The suffocating lows can be justified by euphoric, blissful highs. Eventually, decisions can be rationalized. You were his vice, and he had no intention of quitting.

His culpability in his own pain made it even worse. He held no pity for himself. He deserved it all. He literally signed up for it. You had always been a bit of a free spirit. Untamed and wild behind the eyes. That's part of what drew him to you. But the same thing that brought you close was the thing that took you away.

You were terrified of the metaphorical cage from staying in one place for too long. He knew you were running from something, but that same fear always sent you seeking stability in his presence.

Inch by inch you would let him see new pieces of your soul, and he was humbled by it every single time. That's what he had found himself addicted to. The small hits of intimacy you would allow him before the inevitable retreat.

That's what was happening now. The wall you let him breach was a big one, and he saw it in your eyes the moment you realized he had seen too much. It was his fault. You begged him not to say it. You begged him not to love you. Your words rang in his ears on repeat.

"Don't Ben. Please don't say you love me." your voice broke in a plea.

"Why not? It's true. What's so wrong with that?" he asked.

"Because I might not say it back..." You couldn't meet his eyes.

"Might not? If you're not sure, that's okay. Love is a big thing. I don't want you to say it if you don't feel it. But are you saying you could feel it? I can wait. You know I can." He knew those were the wrong words the moment he heard himself saying them.

"Right... always waiting for me to grow up. Waiting for me to stop being so selfish. Aren't you tired of making excuses for me yet, Ben?!"

"That's not what I meant. Please... please don't do this. Stay with me. I'm not going to hurt you or try to change you."

"You already are changing me! I'm not ready for this. And I can't keep doing this to you. I have to go." His eyes widened with panic as you strode towards the door.

"Darling, please! Just think about it. For me, just say that you'll think about. We can meet tomorrow by the park to talk." He was prepared to grovel.

His hands cupped your face, holding you in his gaze. But when you couldn't answer him, his fingers fell away.

"I'll wait for you there. 3pm by the pond." He took a deep breath to steel his nerves. "But if you don't come... don't come back again."

That was the last thing he said before you walked through his door. And now he was sitting in the rain, regretting every word. What had he done?

What had he done?

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 178

Chapter 178: "To the Human World"

As sweet as it is to have Mujika & Sonju rush all the way from the capital to the GF plantation to wish the children one last goodbye, I can't help but think of the surprised Pikachu meme whenever I see this panel of Ray. He matches it perfectly.

Kinda glad we don't linger on the tragic events of the previous chapter long, like yeah, I don't need to shed any more tears about it, but also having Mujika completely switch topics as if the loss wasn't highly depressing is lowkey hilarious. Also, that one shot of the plantation shows the outer bridge again somehow even though it was clearly destroyed back in ch167.

I'm assuming Oliver, Violet & all the other GP kids already know about the golden water because Lucas might have told them about it when he ventured underground with Emma? It's not like any of them saw the literal Goldy Pond themselves since it was locked behind the door that required the WM pen to open and none of the residents had one until Emma showed up, but whatever. The only one of them I could imagine getting a peak of the golden water themselves is Nigel since he went below the windmill to set off the self destruct button in the control room that was right next to said pond. Anyways, if this is the place the Ratri clan used to transport stuff between worlds, can't y'all just use the stairs too? I dunno why but I can't imagine them using the Seven Wall method every time, or that they would even know how to complete the ritual in the first place. Emma only activated that to advise the demon god they're all ready to implement the promise and cross over.

Phil asking the very important questions that we're all dreading the answers to! Though I'm wondering again how he knew of the deal in the first place. I figure he and all the other children at GF were told about the promise off panel by the escapees sometime after they were all reunited or perhaps that little tidbit of information was something Phil heard about from Andrew. Who knows. I certainly don't. I can love this series with all my heart but by no means do I have an abundance of knowledge of every tiny detail.

I can't and won't say Emma's lying here because she isn't. She answers Phil's questions with full confidence and very truthfully, it's just.. not the full truth, which is clever on her part to just give the answers they're wondering about instead of all the extra fine details because her family definitely wouldn't allow her to carry such a burden, as they outwardly express to her a bit later.

I can imagine Emma revealing the price of the reward so casually, like "oh, the demon god actually wants you guys," or something similar which makes everyone's freak out even funnier in my head.

Thankfully, her family is off limits due to how Emma phrased the new promise to include all the cattle children to cross over to the human world, so the reward is.. "nothing." It's so anti-climatic that no one believes it. I praise Emma's master actor skills very highly and will probably do so again in a couple pages, but this undoubtedly one of her weaker performances. C'mon honey, I know the past couple days have been real hectic but surely you had some downtime between all the traveling to and from the capital to think up a better story. (and Violet totally swears there. don't even question it. perfectly in character.)

I love how everyone continues to be skeptical as the lie continues to grow. If the reward was really that simple, then Emma wouldn't have had a reason to hide the reward from Ray when he first asked about it during ch144. If it was all good news and truly free from any sort of sacrifices, then I'm sure she would've been delighted to tell him everything she and the demon god discussed.

She's certainly not wrong. Just because the cursed blood will be shared amongst all the demons so they won't degenerate, doesn't mean that'll cure their cravings for human meat. Sonju is a perfect example of that. I also love how enthusiastically everyone is nodding their heads to Norman's words. The fact everyone would give up their freedom in the human world just to stay behind in the demon world with Emma is so precious. It would've been interesting to see all the humans live normal lives (as "normal" as they could possibly get anyway) in the demon world and whether or not they could actually coexist with the demons. I guess the second season sorta did that during that final episode slideshow where it had the fullscore trio and Lambda crew stay behind for a couple years before crossing over, but that was poorly done and covered the later story arcs instead of everyone living freely so that attempt doesn't count.

It's so wholesome to see everyone celebrate like this because Emma is still telling the truth here. They really really deserve to be excited and hopeful for their new lives in the human world.

It's so reassuring to know that the boys are still feeling just as suspicious about this reward as the entire fandom did.

The doubts don't last for much longer though since Emma starts speaking from her heart and we all know how motivating and optimistic she is when that happens. Emma has lied and put on great performances in the past in order to hide her real intentions, so the fact she's being completely true to herself and her feelings here is impressive since no one, not even Norman or Ray, could detect any other uncertainties about the reward with how efficiently she puts their wondering minds at ease.

Well I'm sure as hell not. (I do love this panel of her though.)

Relativity by M. C. Escher, but make it pretty and magical.

Sorry to say but she's definitely gonna forget you, Mujika. Not by choice of course, but consequently. I'll never get over that bittersweet smile of Emma's either.

Totally gonna be bias but I'm absolutely thrilled everyone ended up in what is essentially this world's version of New York. Aside from that, I was beyond worried about Emma obviously missing as she was previously holding onto Phil's hand for several pages before everyone crossed over, but I tried hard to push away all the anxious feelings by thinking of how exciting it would be to see the kids explore one of the world's largest cities. You know, after they find our very special sunshine child first of course. That's top priority.

Favorite panel/moment:

I love how these two panels blend into one another. Makes me wanna believe that Emma was in two places at once, as silly as that idea is, but she either used the ritual to just signal the demon god that everyone's ready or took a quick trip there and back to tell Him personally. It's probably the former (since I doubt there's still an active full moon), but the latter would've been a bit funny to see her disappear for an instant then have her return just as quickly.

[thewayhavenchronicle]

Hey! First, I’m so sorry to hear abt the menstrual pain!! Periods are the worst especially when you’ve got really bad cramps :((

So for distractions! For the otp ask, if you’re answering the questions themselves how about 41-45 for Ruth x Ava? Or if you want something to expand into a fic, one of any of those!

I hope you feel better soon!

thank youuuu have. many ava/ruth fluff snippets ;w;

41. Which one would take their jacket it off and drape over the other one because they were visibly shivering?

Ruth nearly jumps out of her skin when something heavy and warm settles over her bare shoulders -- though she almost immediately feels silly as strong, familiar hands settle on her shoulders and then run down her arms, sending warmth washing over her in their wake.

Tired after the weird charity gala the Agency had talked them into attending, she leans back until her head is resting on Ava's shoulder.

Ava says nothing, arms settling around her with a soft contented sigh.

They'll have to leave eventually -- definitely have to say goodbye to the investors and the Council and whoever else she'd been introduced to tonight before she's truly off the hook -- but she doesn't care.

For now, they are both content to stand in the moonlight and watch it dance on the pond and fountain below them.

And that's enough.

42. What's their favorite type of weather to enjoy together? (getting snowed in together, watching thunderstorms, etc.)

Ruth loves the summer in Wayhaven.

It's a strange sentence to think, even to herself, as summers had always been the worst part of the year when she was growing up nearby. All that time having to find things to do to stay away from her home when her dad was home, all that time having to face the fact that she didn't really have friends -- it had been miserable.

Now, it's the best time of year for her to talk Ava into spending time with her, just the two of them.

And Ruth isn't sure she's ever happier than she is when she's on the open road with Ava, wind in her hair, casting adoring glances at Ava's beautiful profile.

They always drive to the same place -- a cliff overlooking the sea. It's more remote than the park they'd first gone to, so Ava is always so much more comfortable to sit close beside her, shoulders brushing with every breath they take. When the sun finally sets, they often stay a little longer, lying back in the grass and watching the stars and talking about... anything. Nothing. Everything.

The way Ava smiles when they're alone like that feels just like the summer sun on her skin -- sends that same warmth washing over her like a hot shower, until all she can feel is that twinge of joy and pride that comes with being able to make Ava smile, even a little.

...she's in far, far too deep to fight this now, but she can't find it in her to regret a single second of it.

43. Who would give their life for the other without a second thought?

Oh, they both would. This fact makes both of them very upset. Don't feel like writing the angst rn but IT'S COMING in my fic eventually.

44. Who would dance in the kitchen making dinner? Would the other join in or watch from the doorway?

Ruth nearly startles when Ava's arms slide around her waist, though she laughs as she tilts her head to give Ava access as she presses a line of kisses to Ruth's throat.

Ruth had been humming along to the music playing from her laptop as she cooked dinner, aware of the Commander in the next room keeping an eye out for her, but uncaring enough to actually change her plans for the night. They'd been getting closer recently, crossing that unspoken line between friends and.... something else more and more.

She's still not used to the amount of pleasure she gets from such simple, soft kisses as Ava rests her chin on Ruth's shoulder and begins to sway to the music.

"...you're so beautiful," murmurs her lover, nose brushing at the corner of her jaw. "I adore you completely."

Ruth shivers visibly in Ava's arms, making them both laugh.

"You buttering me up for something, Commanding Agent?" Ruth asks, but there's no malice in it, only a gentle tease that makes Ava chuckle.

"No," Ava says truthfully, swaying a little more meaningfully, a little more purposefully now. "I just wanted to be near you."

Ruth's heart squeezes painfully in her chest, but she smiles anyway, turning her head to press a kiss to Ava's cheek.

They don't say anything else for a long while, though eventually Ruth does move her meal off of the stove and they dance a little more formally. Ava's eyes are unbelievably soft as she twirls Ruth around the little kitchen in her tiny apartment and for a little while, nothing else in the world exists but the two of them and the hazy glow of contentment surrounding them.

45. Can they fall asleep without the other?

Ruth nearly shrieks when a pair of arms wrap around her in her sleep.

The stranger crawling into her bed pauses, pulling away a little and mumbling half-asleep apologies, and the familiar lilt of a soft British accent makes her relax again. Ava sinks into the mattress behind her, burying her face in the back of her neck, muscles heavy with tension that slowly seeps from her frame as she breathes in the smell of Ruth's skin.

"...alright?" Ruth asks after a moment, too sleepy to ask a full question, patting gently at Ava's hand settled on the mattress next to her stomach.

Ava sighs, curling around her a little more. "Bad dream. I'm fine now."

Ruth hums, and a distant part of her investigator mind does a few quick calculations. She knows vampires don't sleep much, but Ava's done this every few days for the past week or so now.

"Having a lot of bad dreams lately," she breathes.

She can feel Ava frown against the back of her neck as the arm around her waist tightens even more.

"...very observant of you, Detective," Ava mumbles at length, though there's a playfulness somewhere in her voice that makes Ruth snort.

Shifting so that she can lie on her back, she coaxes Ava to rest her head on her chest, slipping her fingers against the back of her neck and stroking gently as her other hand settles against Ava's upper arm, thumb lazily running back and forth against her skin where her sleeve has rolled up.

Ava melts into her and Ruth grins into the darkness. Sleep begins to tug at her again, but she mumbles with the last of her awareness, "I've got you. Sleep."

Whatever Ava mumbles in response is lost as Ruth drifts off again, though she thinks it might have been French.

...

"Je t'aime, mon cœur."

[mikimeiko]

Day 2 - Innsbruck (Austria)

I slept almost 12 hours XD tomorrow is going to be another intense day of travel, so today I'm taking things really slow.

It's raining, so I go get breakfast in a place near my hostel. They have so many options and I panic XD and end up ordering a breakfast option made entirely of sweet things ;_;

Everything was very good but it ended up being overwhelmingly sweet and I couldn't finish it.

It has stopped raining so I take a walk around the old town. It's still overcast but the light is a lot more lively and crisp than yesterday. Innsbruck is a very beautiful city.

I saw a priest on a scooter! (Not like a vespa-scooter, like a skateboard-scooter. His clothing was flowing in the wind and it was very funny XD)

Why is coffee so expensive outside of Italy? ;_;

The Hofgarten is very peaceful and lovely to walk through. Lots of biodiversity, gotta love that!

There's a funicular that starts underground on the outskirts of the old town and takes you up the mountain! Well, it takes you a bit up the mountain and then from there you can take two cable cars to get to THE TOP of the mountain. But I don't like cable cars and the top of the mountain is shrouded in clouds anyway, so I just go up a bit with the funicular :D

The Alps continue to be ridiculously magnificent.

Near the funicular station there's a small inn where I finally get to it the kaspressknödel (a fried "dumpling" made with potatoes and cheese - very similar to frico from Friuli now that I think about it), the one thing I really wanted to try here in Innsbruck. And I'm happy I did because it's SO GOOD.

I get down from the mountain by bus and, very happy with my 24h transport ticket, I engage in one of my favourite hobbies: taking random buses and trams out of the city centre. I find the prettiest small church, a second waterway (not sure if it's a river or a canal) and smallish park with a pond in the middle <3

I went to see the market, and the stalls that were closed yesterday, but neither was particularly interesting. I don't know why I always set my expectations so high on markets XD

I grabbed some food and went back to my hostel. Tonight there were actually people in the common area, and I had a nice chat with the other travellers before sadly saying my goodbyes - since tomorrow I have a SUPER early train to Salzburg ;_;

[laf-outloud]

I was just thinking about everything that has occurred over the last year or so where Jensen is concerned and I wonder if his attitude has changed due to the life he knew during Supernatural days going away. I'm pretty sure he wasn't expecting the response that TW got, before it aired and after, and I get that some people think he's under the influence of toxic people, his stans, alcohol, and all that, but I think it's actually deeper than that.

I do think it's related to his ego, sure, but it really does seem like he wasn't ready for Supernatural to end when it did. Not so much for the show or even the character of Dean, but for everything that came along with it. He was literally a big fish in a small pond, a CW golden boy in a way (along with Jared), and now all of that has changed. Mark Pedowitz is no longer there, the CW has new ownership, he is not finding the lead roles he wants, everything he says and does is not just automatically accepted 100% by the fandom anymore, the pandemic happened, Rust happened, he was used to working away from home a certain amount of time and then he was stuck at home during the pandemic, the show didn't get to end the way he and Jared wanted it to (wrap party included) due to the pandemic, all of this stuff and more.

This guy literally had the life he wanted and now it's changed drastically. If you watch his interviews and con videos and even Instagram videos from 2018 and on before March 2020 hit, there is such a different vibe there. I know people say he never loved his wife, I don't really know (or care to be honest) but there's definitely a different vibe about him around her back then compared to now. Especially when they were opening up FBBC. I know a lot of people like to point to that one interview video with his look at her joking about being pregnant but if you watch some of the other interviews, he seems to vibe better with her than he has the whole past year (when we've seen them together like NYCC). It's almost as if him losing Supernatural and the ability to go to Vancouver for 9 months out of the year, coming back home when he wanted to, and them being forced together 24 7 in quarantine must have made an impact. And then TW on top of it and how that turned out to be a reality check for both of them that not everyone just accepts the crap they're doling out because of Jensen's name or looks. Jared was ready to say goodbye to Supernatural. I think by all accounts, Jensen was not. Jared had the next job lined up, waiting for him. Jensen didn't. So his whole trajectory over this past year makes a lot of sense to me. I think it's finally hitting him (if it hasn't already) that he is now in a bigger pond but he's not that big fish anymore. Hence the flailing and absolute shit show we're all seeing happen along with the desperate PR attempts. And it's just really sad.

Anyway, I was just thinking after seeing everything everyone was discussing these past two weeks, especially his "suck it" comment to haters at Crossroads.

I can't remember if I mentioned the same on this blog, or somewhere else, but yeah, going from the top-dog in his sphere and having a steady job with a steady schedule to suddenly having his entire world turned upside-down in the matter of a couple of years has to be very jarring.

Unfortunately, his way of processing change is to apparently get bitter and resentful instead of putting in the work and making the necessary changes to improve his situation. What's that saying? "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Right now, Jensen's dressing the part of the desperate, washed-up actor, catering to the dregs of the SPN fandom.